The power of YOUR voice
‘90% of what you are saying ain’t coming out of your mouth’
I was watching the umpteenth rerun of the movie Hitch on our cable TV last night. It stars Will Smith playing a dating guru. One of the introductory lines is ‘90% of communications does not involve words. 60% of all human communications is nonverbal - body language and 30% is tone!’ And he goes on to say ‘90% of what you are saying ain’t coming out of your mouth!’
I realise it’s a movie, but I researched on Google and these statistics are valid. Communication is complex but much of it does not even involve the words we say. Although important, communicating involves more than our words! And today I want to focus on tone.
Although I am not a communications specialist I have worked in cultures, during my international experience, without a common language between us. I had to use my and my clients’ non-verbal cues and an interpreter to communicate. It took a bit more effort, but it was possible.
My mother-in-law is another great example. Although we do not have a common language between us – my German is basic as is her English – we have spent hours together communicating without Markus, my husband, to play interpreter!
This is why I always say, we do not need to have a common language to communicate!
Now, back to tone.
I have a little secret to share.
Many years ago, I went to a recording studio in Malaysia to ‘audition’ (my voice) for advertisements. Specialist recording studios were, back then, always on the lookout for new talent. Today Artificial Intelligence is taking over, unfortunately. But back in the day, ‘real’ human voices were sought after.
How did I get there?
Over the years many people had given me feedback that I had a great voice and that I should do something with it. It was one of those things I took as a compliment and moved on. But this one year I had several people telling me this within a short period and it had me thinking.
Why not do something about it I thought to myself. I connected with some friends in the acting industry and was referred to a couple of recording studios. I chose one that was close to my home and made an appointment. New voices are always welcomed I was told.
It was hard work! I was given several scripts based on typical client requests. I had to modulate, intonate - vary my pitch and tone. Everything I was not used to. I had never worked with my voice before. And what an experience it was.
I was told that I had a ‘low’ pitch for a female and although they preferred a higher pitch for female voices, my voice could be used for very specialised work. I left after recording several versions of my voice as samples for prospective clients. I left feeling like I had a (voice) workout and realised how much goes into creating commercials and advertisements.
I never heard back from them! That was the start and end of my voice career. 😉
My pitch is low. Call centre agents in Malaysia nearly always think I am male! Experts say we don’t hear ourselves. Only when we record ourselves and play it back do we hear what we sound like and that can be quite cringeworthy. I don’t like listening to myself but over the years I have had to do so for various reasons.
Back to tone, it caught my attention again recently – when I had to get used to hearing myself over the speaker during my talk in Singapore and I remember adjusting my tone, and distance from the microphone to optimise my (voice) delivery to my audience.
I got intrigued about everything voice again and found a couple of good links that I share with you here should you want to try it out for yourself. Our voice is our most powerful tool when communicating. Record yourself, listen to it, and experiment.
The first video is by Dr. Alex Lyon, a voice coach on changing our tone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pH287zxVXE0
The second video is Dr. Wendy LeBorgne on voice branding: https://www.ted.com/talks/wendy_leborgne_vocal_branding_beyond_words_how_your_voice_shapes_your_communication_image
I had feedback after my talk that I sounded calm and engaging. Exactly what I was aiming for.
As always, you can reach me at yoga@yoganesadurai.com