A Lara Croft adventure to emotional literacy

In my recent masterclass, I shared an example of how the stories we tell ourselves impact our actions in a situation.

The feedback was that the example brought instant clarity to my topic and I thought I would share it in this article.

Because your outcomes are very much dependent on the stories you tell yourself.

The Malaysian Driver

We, yes I am a Malaysian driver too, are an anomaly.

I will say that I am not the driver that I describe here but unfortunately you will have to take my word for now. Until you can be a passenger in my car.

Our road fatalities are one of the highest in the world. It was lower in 2020 due to lockdown.

Mainly because of our motorbike riders. They weave between traffic and don’t seem to understand road signs and traffic light colours.

They go against traffic on a one-way road and are colour blind to the three colours at traffic lights. You warn them at your own peril. They feel misunderstood and car drivers feel we are at the mercy of the motorbike riders.

But the Malaysian car driver is a breed of its own. My analysis is that we are taught to pass the learner’s exam rather than understand and practice global driving etiquette.

We learn the theory, but we don’t apply it. We have drivers that jump red lights and go slow on the fast lane.

We double park and my pet peeve is parking across an available parking bay instead of in the designated bay. Rendering the free bay and bays on either side unusable. I still have not fathomed why we do this. But I digress.

My greatest amazement is signaling or the lack of it. Malaysian drivers pride themselves on the cars they drive but they do not use the equipment that comes with it.

Cars with Bluetooth functionality are wasted as drivers talk into their phones held by one hand whilst driving. Go figure.

The indicator levers are hardly used. You know, the lever that turns on the bright yellow lights that blink indicating whether you want to move left or right.

Making every journey on the Malaysian road a guessing game or an obstacle course.

You may have someone cutting into your lane without indicating. The worst is when you have to guess which way they plan to go on a roundabout. I have been caught out several times by other drivers going in a direction I was not expecting.

In a way getting on the Malaysian roads is like being in a video game – a real one. Think Lara Croft in a car. A real adventure. A fast track to learning about your emotions.

Images from Pixabay.

But that is how I see it.

The story I tell myself as I get into my car is, ‘not everyone indicates and if someone does it is a bonus’. That story helps me navigate the emotions I subsequently feel when someone behaves in the way I expect them to. I am typically in the emotion of amazement and acceptance.

My husband’s story on the other hand is, ‘everyone should indicate because that’s what drivers do’. Let’s just say that the emotions he feels are different from mine.

Two different outcomes to one situation!

The self story impact

I have been writing about the impact of our self stories on our outcomes because they matter. They impact us in so many ways often subtly changing our behaviours.

We may not be able to choose our environment, but we can certainly choose how we perceive it. But it starts with conscious awareness.

And my example here is one of many. You will have your own situations where this applies.  

I also believe that our environment has an impact on us through subtle behaviourial changes.

When I drive abroad, I am almost expecting someone to cut into my lane because of my ‘Malaysian self stories’. It usually takes a couple of days to trust other drivers.

But it is NOT about the other drivers, it’s about me. It is about rethinking my stories to adapt.

Telling myself a different story to have a different outcome.

And YOU have the choice to do so too.

I am here to help!