Your post-lockdown journey starts with you

Never have we had to spend so much time with ourselves than during lockdown. We are all facing some form of physical isolation. Those lucky are in lockdown with their family, whilst others are alone by choice or circumstance. One thing is certain, this is the most amount of time we have spent with ourselves. From the feedback I am getting, it has not been a smooth journey so far.

Lockdown has also seen the emergence of many online tips, change models, videos, webinars on how to cope with various aspects of lockdown, working from home, self-isolation, etc. The aim is to focus on what you can control and influence. Most of these are good, I like them. Some are tools, others are simple yet effective methods to gain control and make the right choices through these unique times.

The fundamental thing about these models though is that they keep the brain focused on doing. The focus is to act, to stay in control. Action or movement helps us avoid unsettling or unfamiliar feelings.

But what happens if we choose not to act? Theory has it that without the sense of control, we worry, get frustrated and worse catastrophise. But what if worry and frustration are the pivot to the transformation of self? What if lockdown is such a pivot, to slow us down and pause; for an in-depth look into who we are, our purpose, who we want to be, who we are as human beings?

The irony is, to get to know yourself better requires no tips, no models, no videos, no control. Just some discomfort, time, and action in the form of courage and patience to stay with yourself. It may require a few attempts. The first attempt could have you dipping in and out. But every subsequent attempt makes you slightly braver to stay with yourself longer. With each attempt the discomfort should diminish. Then finally you stay with yourself without discomfort. Acceptance; the raw, core you.

As I graduated from university, my late mother’s first words to me were ‘Yoga, your degree, future fame or fortune do not define you. They prop you up and can disappear in an instant. Life is about you and who you are as a human being. That is all that matters, the rest will work itself out’.

It was a humbling moment. Here I was at the precipice of the rest of my life and in an instant my mother brought me back to earth. Yet it was a defining moment. I have lived by her principles thus far and will continue to do so. I can look myself in the mirror and I can sleep at night. Throughout my life, my mother kept me down to earth yet reaching for the stars.

For some of us lockdown may be a pivotal time. Some or most of what we may be feeling now stems from who we are as human beings rather than our skills and competencies. The external world that validates us, the physical interactions, the nice restaurants, the gym/club memberships or other privileges, is currently not relevant. And it seems, as the new future develops, some of these may not be relevant even after lockdown. So, we are left with ourselves, the only constant in the multitude of variables.

Is lockdown requiring change in the only constant? The present times are described as unprecedented, once in a century, very unique, etc. The old may no longer be relevant and the new is yet to be fully formed.

To quote Viktor Frankl, ‘when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves’.

Some of you have already experienced what I describe in some form. I certainly have. The initial restlessness and uncertainty gave way to the stark realisation of the seriousness and (semi) permanence of the situation. The initial optimism of ‘this too shall pass and we will be back to normal’ gave way to dismay and ‘I don’t know’. I am not sure yet what normal will be in the future.

It was, still is, unsettling and unfamiliar. But I chose to stay with myself and get past the discomfort, and I realised that there is choice and possibilities. Choice of how I view and interact with my environment. I feel a refined sense of purpose, realistic optimism, and hope.

This experience is going to be unique for each of us. How we manoeuvre it will require humility, honesty, and courage to start and patience to stay with the raw, core self. From here, curiosity and self-compassion pave the way for the emergence of the new. This is a process of self-discovery and what you discover may surprise you!