Would you go out with you?
I stumbled upon a YouTube video, by chance, with Joe Dispenza and Lewis Howe on love. At the start of the video, Joe Dispenza says he was repeatedly asked about love and soul mates rather than neuroplasticity and epigenetics during a book tour in Australia. He was at his limit when a female reporter asked him, ‘how come I can’t create the relationship that I want?’
His answer or question to her was, ‘would you go out with you?’
What a great question, I thought. It got me thinking.
I am no love guru or dating coach and therefore do not feel qualified to expand on love and relationships. But I wondered if there were parallels I could draw on from love for the future-proofing context. So, I decided to shift the focus from attracting the right partner to attracting the right future-self but keeping the ‘method’ same. And realised very quickly that candour would be an essential ingredient for this journey. As an aside, I believe, this ‘method’ applies to all our relationships. Attracting the ‘right’ clients, friends, family relationships, etc work on the same principle.
Candour definition: the quality of being open and honest (with oneself – in the future-proofing context).
I started by stealing Joe’s advice, on finding your ideal partner, to define your future self.
Joe says, ‘write down everything you want in a person and then become it’.
I say, ‘write down everything you want for your future self then practice becoming your future self’.
But what is the future version of you or me or what is the best version of you or me?
I did some research online and here’s what I read first:
Becoming the best version of yourself means getting back to your quintessential self. As straightforward as that sounds, it's anything but: Authentic self-discovery takes courage and tenacity. To approach your essential self, you must turn away from distracting false beliefs that cloud or distort your self-perception. [Source - Aberystwyth University Students Union]
In the case of love, according to Joe Dispenza, you should start by writing down what you want in a partner. List everything you want in a partner then become it. Because he says when you live those wants through your behaviours it helps you attract the same back to you. That’s how energy works. Quantum physics - causing an effect (creation) NOT cause and effect (reaction). Subtle difference. Big impact. Creating versus reacting.
Can we extrapolate this to our future self too?
But how?
My colleague, Graham Norris, at Supertrends Institute, wrote a brilliant article about the brain’s love hate relationship with the future. The brain’s primary role is to plan for the future. Research into what people are thinking about at any one time showed that we are three times more likely to be thinking about the future as the past, and most of this prospective thinking was planning.
So, the future and by association our future self is important enough for us to spend time on. The brain seems to do this by default. What we must do is to clearly articulate our future self for the brain.
One way to do this is by using the ‘clarity through contrast’ technique. My friend gifted me a book by Michael Losier last week on the Law of Attraction. In that book, Michael has a chapter on ‘clarity through contrast’.
Contrast, in Law of Attraction, is anything you don’t like, does not feel good, or causes you to be in a negative mood. In the future-proofing context, it is the parts of you that do not serve you and therefore do not want to carry into the future. Your future self should be everything you want for yourself in the future void of past (limiting) beliefs/memories/thoughts/emotions. Write down what does not serve you from your present self and the opposite of that is what you want for or define as your future self. Then become or ‘pretend’ to be your future self.
Be totally fixated with your future self says Joe! So do I.
Our future is already here. My future self can be anything I want to be. It is up to me. It is a conscious selective exercise where I take into tomorrow only what serves me well from today. Or become someone completely new. And the evolution will continue into the day after tomorrow. The best version of me today is the better version of me from yesterday.
And if that feels a little vague, start with, ‘would you go out with you?’ and go from there. And this applies even if you are married or have a significant other.
As always, you can reach me at yoga@yoganesadurai.com
ps, I would go out with my future self in a heartbeat! My present self is working on it! 😉