The power of curiosity
I was listening to a youtube video of a thought leader I follow and this morning his question was, ‘do you take yourself out on personal dates?’ – do you spend time with yourself by going out on a date (with yourself). It got my attention. How many of us actually take time out to be with ourselves? To spend time alone with ourselves, be it a movie, meal, walk, or holiday to connect with ourselves. Just because!
We are autopilot creatures and are, at times, afraid to be with ourselves. Alone. It can be a hard thing to do. When alone, we are confronted by our thoughts, emotions, and more. Our light and dark sides come out to play. And it can be a bit much. I know friends who dislike being on their own. They need constant sights and sounds to occupy their brain. Silence is an awkward place.
That’s why covid, which was called the ‘great pause’ forced people to pause. It disrupted autopilot mode and for some brought many surprising and disturbing revelations. It was an uncomfortable and disorientating time for some.
I am having ‘forced’ alone time presently as Markus, my husband, is abroad. And in a conversation with a dear friend recently, after Markus left, he asked me how I was doing with my ‘alone’ time. He was genuinely curious to find out how I was, what I was experiencing, and what felt different, if at all.
Here’s the thing, I could not articulate a ‘whole’ answer for him in the moment. But it got me thinking. It was a great question! (I could have given him a superficial answer but ours is not a superficial friendship).
I had to reflect, and I decided to call upon the emotion of curiosity.
The Latin word for curiosity is curiositatem which means “the desire of knowledge, inquisitiveness”. I call it the power of asking great questions. The purpose of curiosity is to gain an understanding of our experiences to learn. Taken from Dan Newby’s The Unopened Gift: A Primer in Emotional Literacy.
Here’s what I learned. In attempting to answer the question I realised that we are never present in the moment. Our thoughts are either on the past or on the future. Think about it, even as you are reading this, if it’s the morning, you are probably thinking about what you are going to have for breakfast or ruminating over what happened yesterday, or rushing to execute the plans you have for the day.
Hardly ever are we fully present in the moment. Unless we hit the ‘pause’ button and truly check in on ourselves, getting off autopilot mode.
Ironically, Dr. Diane Hamilton, author of Cracking the Curiosity Code, whose work and research is based on curiosity defines it as getting out of status quo thinking! Her research shows that individuals who are curious are more likely to seek out new information, ideas, and perspectives! Which in turn increases creative thinking, improved communication, and self-awareness.
She says, “the future belongs to the curious, the ones who are not afraid to try it, explore it, poke at it, question it, and set it free!”
Just as this article was born out of the genuine curiosity of my dear friend. And that got me thinking about a lot more than my husband. It was a great thinking journey initiated by a powerful, ‘simple’ question.
This week I leave you with this question – what problems at work or in your life could be improved by developing curiosity?
Perhaps take yourself on a personal date and find out. Or ask yourself a powerful, ‘simple’ question. Or try something new to get out of status quo thinking: take a different route to work, eat an unusual cuisine, watch a foreign language movie, etc.
Enjoy the emotion of curiosity. Like me, you may learn more than what you intended.
In case you are curious, it was only after Markus left that I accepted his absence. And am currently adjusting to my ‘new’ daily routine and rituals.
As always, you can reach me at yoga@yoganesadurai.com