Making the difference you were born to make

I recently had a conversation with a friend who is on the threshold of a new venture. He has worked hard to achieve the required qualification and experience. He wholeheartedly believes in it, knows he can make a difference but feels like a superhero without his cape. This and the accompanying emotions and thoughts are holding him back.

I asked him what the cape represented, and he said perfection.

Waiting for perfection is a tricky game. One that could have us waiting for a moment that may never come. Perfection has a way of morphing into something that may always be just beyond our grasp.

I realise doing something new can be challenging for anyone, me included. We can be filled with thoughts and emotions, doubt, fear, anxiety, and these can hijack us making us immobile, whilst hoping for perfection to show up.

The thing about doing something new and making a difference is that it requires courage. And courage takes effort and pushes us to use resources beyond our comfort zone. Courage is not the absence of fear but fear walking, a quote by Susan David, the author of Emotional Agility. This can only happen outside your comfort zone.

I asked my friend what if he found his cape only after he leaped, and it got him thinking.

Choice, Kairos, and Clarity

I have always been a proponent of choice. The line separating comfort and courage is choice; maintaining the status quo versus doing something meaningful to make a difference. The latter requires us to make the effort, get uncomfortable and deal with any inconveniences along the way.

Choosing courage is facing the discomfort of the myriad of emotions and thoughts, managing the unknown yet leaping. Choosing comfort is the easier option but it gives us a false sense of security.

In the words of Thomas Jefferson, “if you want to have something you have never had, you must be willing to do something you have never done”

My friend had worked hard for this moment. Everything that he had done before this was to get to this point. He had arrived at a fork in the road with two possible options — leap or stay, courage or comfort.

The fork introduces another dimension, timing. What the Greeks call Kairos, an opportune moment for action. The fork represents a critical moment upon which something special happens. The moment when there is a knowing that it is time. The moment when we choose courage.

I realised from my conversation with my friend that his moment was near.

As he chooses courage and moves forward, he will gain clarity, confidence and find his cape as a result of choosing courage. Sometimes action precedes clarity and waiting for all the pieces to fall into place just delays what you were born to do.

But choosing courage does not mean the the discomfort goes away. In fact you stay in the discomfort and act from there. Nothing great happens in our comfort zone. Doing something we have never done before requires us to act from beyond our comfort zone. It is where the magic happens.

It is normal to feel the emotions of doubt, fear, anxiety. The key is to use these emotions to move you forward. E-motions are energy that move us to action. Without these emotions you would not have the fuel to power your venture.

And if things do not go as planned or you inadvertently sabotage yourself, reflect, learn from the experience and move forward.

If you are about to venture anew, something you have worked hard at and prepared for, but find yourself looking for your cape, stop. You will find your cape along the way by doing what you were born to do, embracing your uniqueness, in making a difference.

For guidance with your new venture, connect with me at yoga@yoganesadurai.com