Grill or gate, ditch or drain?
My article this week is about assumptions, their impact on our emotions, and the impact of emotions on our outcomes.
I have always been fascinated with languages. I grew up speaking three languages in Malaysia. I didn’t realise it back then, but it is a gift to be able to speak multiple languages. I even picked up a fourth language when I was living in India, Hindi. But I have lost much of my Hindi from the lack of use. I wrote, spoke, and read it fluently.
But to know a language is to appreciate and understand the nuances, and subtleties. That comes with practise and immersion in that language. And certain languages have certain peculiarities. And much can be lost in translation when we try to translate from one language to another. It is sometimes hard to translate the true meaning of a word or phrase from another language to English for example.
I have spent quite a bit of time in Europe through my work and marriage and I am realising certain ‘peculiarities’ when Europeans translate words into English. I am noticing it when German is translated to English as I spend more time in Austria. One example that comes to mind right away is: (I am writing this article relatively quickly and can’t think of other examples just now!)
Shadow is shade: ‘there is no shadow on that side of the house in the afternoon’.
When it was first used this way, I thought it was strange. After hearing it several times I realised it that the word for shade in German is shadow. Literal translation gave it a different meaning in English. There is also something very precise about the German language. It may have to do with the many rules that go with its use.
Recently, whilst doing some do-it-yourself maintenance around the house, I had a similar experience with my husband, Markus, whose first language is German. Markus has lived in Asia for many years and English is almost his first language. He understands subtleties and nuances like a native English speaker. But he still manages to surprise me.
What I call a drain is a ditch for Markus and what I call a gate is a grill for Markus.
In the first instance, he was giving me instructions to rake the grass near the ditch. I didn’t know what he was talking about. For me, a ditch is a bit of sunken earth without any concrete. In the second instance, I told him to ‘open the gate’, which he was standing in front of, but he didn’t know what I was talking about.
Much can be lost through translation AND assumptions. Therefore, they trigger emotions through a lack of understanding resulting in derailed outcomes.
The confusion in both cases led us to feel emotions that were triggered by the lack of understanding. For Markus, the ditch was assumed but not for me, and the gate was assumed by me but not Markus. Assumptions led to multiple emotions visiting us in seconds.
Lucky for me, the second instance happened before the first. Though I was a little frustrated with his not knowing, I got curious and asked Markus, ‘what would you call the object you are standing in front of?’ That’s how I knew he called it a grill! So, when he said ditch, my brain raced through the several possibilities and realised that he was referring to the ‘drain’.
There are 2 things we do, always. We are always making assumptions and we are always in an emotion or multiple emotions in any given moment. And our assumptions can trigger us to experience a multitude of emotions as a result. Being aware of them, then using them to pivot to another, more useful, emotion in the moment to get the outcome we want is a must-have skill.
The former (awareness) requires literacy, having a vocabulary of emotions and the latter is intelligence, knowing how to use our emotions to pivot.
Where might your assumptions be impacting your emotions and hence your outcomes?
As always, you can reach me at yoga@yoganesadurai.com