Are you looking for the answer at the end of an OUTDATED book?
It’s that time of the year (early December, 2021) . To tie up loose ends, catch up with friends and family, be a little indulgent, reflect, review, renew.
I am doing all the above. This is my last week of meetings and for the last days of the year, I plan to start reading some of the 7 books I purchased last week amid the festivities. Some are books that I came across that looked interesting, and others were recommendations.
But this article is not about the books or a review of the ones I have started reading but about our metaphorical book that we go to for answers. The book we compiled based on what we were taught, told, learnt, and experienced. The one that we rely on now. But what if some of the contents of the book are outdated?
So much of what we do is based on our metaphorical book. It contains the strategies we use to get through life. But as we evolve some of these strategies may no longer be relevant and require re-writing. Question is, how do we know which strategies are outdated? It starts with the strategies that no longer serve us. They have associated stories that we play in our heads, our automatic go-to stories that, now, make us feel held back. They evoke emotions such as fear, anxiety, guilt. These are the strategies that need a review and a re-write.
Let’s explore this together. A thought leader I follow, Matt Church, in a recent article talks about the wrong/right and the right/wrong. Things that are initially right but ultimately wrong and vice versa. Wrong and right are deeply subjective. But when we are in a hurry, we see the world through our binary lens – right or wrong.
Wrong/right
When we were children, we were imbued with strategies to keep us safe and secure, physically, emotionally, and financially. Some of these strategies were ‘right’, taught by our elders then, given their circumstances. As we evolved, our circumstances evolved too making some of the strategies no longer relevant. It was a wrong strategy at the right time. These wrong strategies need a re-write now as we evolve beyond the situations that created them.
I grew up with the strategy that every spare penny should be saved for a rainy day and that self-indulgence is secondary to giving. Though this strategy still has its place today, the foundation on which it was written has changed and I am re-writing the strategy to fit my circumstance.
Here are some questions for you:
What strategies have you developed to get through life?
How did they serve you?
Do they still serve you now?
Right/wrong
Many of us, me included, view things logically. What may seem right in our heads may not be right in reality. What we may think right may feel wrong. Sensing and feeling into the right wrongs helps us make sense of why there is a nagging voice or niggling feeling just beyond our perception. Listen to it, sometimes the seemingly right things are totally wrong. The way forward is not always through the head.
I have on occasions declined opportunities that seemed right but felt wrong.
Here are some questions for you:
What is your gut telling you about your situation?
Even if you think it’s right, how do you feel about it?
What else is influencing you?
The answers to these questions AND the actions you take will help you. Because as you live your new strategy, you evolve too.
In summary, thoughts/thinking that was once right may not be right anymore. And what seemed wrong could now be right. This is the start to developing our deeper knowing. But it first requires bravery to investigate our thought patterns that are not in alignment with the reality we want for ourselves. Bravery to investigate our thought patterns that keep us held back through ingrained behaviours. And it takes accountability and responsibility to change our thought patterns.
Re-writing old strategies takes time. Theoretically, in the head, they are easy to re-write but living them takes courage and practice. It is a journey that starts with a small step, adding subsequent steps when we are ready. It is liberating. Working with an accountability partner or mentor can help your journey.
Be free now.
As always, you can reach me at yoga@yoganesadurai.com
Happy holidays and best wishes for the season!
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