Trust is playing a big role in my conversations presently. Two weeks ago, I wrote about trust. Trust is a fundamental emotion that helps us connect with others. The stakeholders I am currently interacting with require a fair amount of information from me without much commitment in return.

It feels like a tango. We are moving together with neither party out of step (yet) held together by trust. But what if that trust is one-sided? What if, in the tango, one party is doing more of the work than the other? What if every interaction turns out to be an interaction of taking without any giving? That is a dilemma I sit with now. How will I know if I have given too much or if I should give some more?

This week I am in the emotions of trust and wonder. And as I immerse myself in both these emotions, a couple of anecdotes come to mind. But first a definition of both emotions. For an overview of emotions, read this.

Trust

Story: I can rely on the person or thing to do as they promise

Impulse: to coordinate action

Purpose: the ability to interact with the world, others, or with ourselves

Wonder

Story: I don’t understand this experience, but I am enjoying it anyway

Impulse: to remain in the experience

Purpose: to connect with elements in the world bigger and more powerful than ourselves

A brilliant thought leader whom I follow, Matt Church, has a great attitude to sharing. Be of service he says. He believes that all the information out there is known to everyone. There is nothing new. A thought leader’s role is to package that information into practical bite-size pieces for people for easy application.

As a result, Matt offers all his books for free. Digital versions are free, and each book is excellent. Because he believes that parting with information that everyone already knows is not where value is added. Value is added when the readers of his books ask him to address their problems. Matt adds value through Matt.

My reflections also made me think of my late mother and how she would have handled my dilemma. My mother was all about giving. ‘It does not matter if you don’t receive anything in return, your purpose is to give (to those who need)’. Her intention was always to be of service, to help where help is needed. Value is added when a need is met, and you are the catalyst.

I have to amalgamate Matt’s and my mother’s wisdom to help me navigate my dilemma. Trust and wonder may require help from boldness to maintain trust.

Boldness

Story: I will take initiative to act even though I am unsure or scared

Impulse: Initiating action in the face of uncertainty

Purpose: allows us to move forward even though feeling doubtful or challenged

Mark Carney stated, ‘trust arrives on foot and leaves in a Ferrari’. In any context, trust takes time and patience to build and maintain. And it can be destroyed in an instant. Treat her with respect.

As always, you can reach me at yoga@yoganesadurai.com