We have all been there. We said something in a meeting or conversation thinking that our audience or listener knows exactly what we meant but they didn’t. As humans, we assume almost all the time! It’s the way our brains are designed.

Assume: suppose to be the case, without proof.

This week I was in Singapore for the day to deliver a talk on growth mindset for a client in Singapore. As I mentioned last week, communicating is a complex science. So much goes into communicating. What we say, who we say it to, how we say it, when we say it - ALL of it matters.

Last week I introduced stakeholder mapping as a crucial communication tool. It helps us map out the ‘what’, ‘how’, and ‘when’ of communicating with our ‘who’ – our stakeholders. It helps plan and communicate more efficiently and effectively with our stakeholders.

I also want to add that although communicating is a science, it is an art too. We become more intuitive with time when communicating. We may need tools, like stakeholder mapping, to get us started but over time we use our instinct and intuition when communicating. And that comes through greater self-awareness and emotional literacy which includes listening.

Something that was lacking in my customer service representative of the airline I flew with to and from Singapore. I had checked in online the day before but did not get my boarding pass. I had a message to get my boarding pass at the airport.

I arrived early at the airport and went straight to the counter of the airline and met the customer service representative who told me to use the kiosk (machine) to print my boarding pass. I was told to use my ticket number. At the kiosk, I realised I could use my passport to verify my identity. It retrieved my booking but wouldn’t print a boarding pass. I went back to the customer service representative who again insisted that I use my ticket number. It felt like a reprimand.

It was not immediately clear how to input my ticket number, but I eventually found it on my third attempt and had the same error message. By this point, I was rather irritated by the whole experience that I decided to join a queue of people waiting to check-in. I spoke to a different (more senior) customer service representative whilst queuing who told me that if an error message shows at the kiosk the passenger must go to a counter manned by a human. Human intervention is necessary to verify details that are ‘missing’ during online check-in.

At which point I told him that all representatives need to know this. It was quite clear to me that his colleague did not know this. He was quite adamant that the error was on my part. It was a bad customer experience overall and it left me feeling irritated and disappointed with the service.

He was communicating with me based on assumptions, some of which were incorrect:

1.      I could have used my passport to retrieve my booking. The ticket number was not necessary (which he insisted upon). It was AN option to retrieve my booking.

2.      When I approached him the second time, he told another lady who was wanting to print her boarding pass to join the queue (where I eventually went). I am not sure why he sent her there and me to the kiosk. She was on a flight to London. I wonder what his assumption was here. In hindsight, I should have asked him!

3.      He assumed that the error was mine. He seemed annoyed that I did not use the ticket number to retrieve my booking.

What’s the lesson in this?

1.      I second-guessed myself when I shouldn’t have. My instinct told me there was a problem.

2.      Assumptions are good when they are correct. But they are not always correct. Best to clarify.

3.      I should have sought another customer service representatives help sooner.

4.      I could have saved precious time had I listened to my instincts.

All’s well that ends well. I arrived in Singapore ahead of schedule, delivered my talk, and returned to Kuala Lumpur as planned.

This week I ask you, where might your assumptions lead to miscommunications?

On a lighter note, the urban dictionary’s definition of assume (ass/u/me) is to make an ass out of u and me 😉

As always you can reach me at yoga@yoganesadurai.com