“that’s hard”, “I don’t…”, “I can’t”

“that’s easy”, “I do….”, “I can…”

It was a busy week last week and weekend. I had several crucial conversations during the week and on the weekend, I attended a friend’s housewarming luncheon.

There was one common thread.

The personal narrative is negative when it comes to change at home and work!

Let’s tackle the personal narrative first.

Many people ask me how I keep my weight constant! The simple answer is I eat healthy (priority) home cooked meals and exercise. I have made it a way of life but that came with many tiny changes along the way.

I did not always eat ‘healthily’. I must qualify this. I didn’t eat junk food, didn’t snack in between meals (only sometimes!), and was not big on sugared drinks. I had an active lifestyle, but my meals were higher in carbohydrates than it is today. It suited me well and I did not put on weight because I was active.

That changed, to a diet of lower carbohydrates, when I realised I was using energy inefficiently. I have written about this before, so I won’t repeat myself here but over the last 5.5 years, I have changed the way I eat to optimise my health and energy. It has been transformative.

I don’t get as hungry as I used to, my concentration is much better, and I am losing visceral fat (a side effect not a goal).

But it all started with ONE thing – a POSITIVE personal narrative. “I can….!”

The same goes for work-related conversations. The narrative is negative too. Three leaders I spoke to had negative narratives when it came to change and their organisation.

I am not saying that change is easy, but I am asking if we are stopping change before it can even begin?! By having a negative narrative.

AND I am going to stick my neck out and say that change is POSSIBLE, and we can all do it now, by first changing our narrative to a positive one.

In last week’s article, I wrote about priming our brains for the day. This week I want to go one level further and address the doing, the ‘how’ in the journey of change.

This is crucial and I can’t emphasise it enough. Doing anything with a negative narrative is like driving with the handbrakes on!

But context matters too. Some contexts are out of our control that can make us jaded. But even in these instances gaining our power back through what is within our control depends on our narrative.

Let me give you an example.

One leader I spoke to, very high up in his organisation, seemed jaded by his environment (management behaviour) making him uncertain and anxious about the organisation, his future in it, and himself. This is not uncommon.

I could tell that he needed to do something (tiny) immediately to get clarity and change his narrative. Part of his anxiety was caused by his inability to step back and see the bigger picture (to see beyond his environment). Again, a common occurrence. I have known him for a while, and I know he is an asset to the industry AND the country.

But his uncertainty and anxiety were clouding his thinking. We all falter from time to time. And there is only one way to get clarity - get above the clouds. In our conversation I got him to gain altitude, getting him above the clouds, and within minutes he had clarity and a positive narrative to boot. The shift in his energy was visible. Moving him from an “it’s hopeless” to “I’ve got this” narrative.

Sometimes the fear of the imagined consequences can be worse than reality.

Gain altitude by addressing your imagined fears! Change starts in the brain – our thinking!

Next week, I will write about the actions that should follow this newfound narrative. The second part of the ‘how’. To do something tiny!

Until then, you can reach me at yoga@yoganesadurai.com