Last week I had 2 same conversations with 2 different people. They were mentoring conversations and the end game in both cases was clarity. It always is! Both were seeking clarity, but both were also sabotaging themselves from being in clarity. Here’s how.

You may relate to this too. We easily sabotage ourselves from being in clarity through the ‘stories’ we play, repeatedly, in our brains. AND we sabotage ourselves without the help of others. We are, at times, our greatest enemy.

When I created ‘future-proofing you’ my tagline was ‘navigate your future with clarity and confidence.’ Clarity is key to everything we do. Lack of clarity is how we can hold ourselves back. I always start my conversations with ‘where do you need clarity?’

Pretty much everything we do, even routine stuff, requires clarity. Writing this article requires message clarity. I know that when I struggle to write an article, I am lacking clarity of what I am trying to say. Clarity can sometimes be discerned instantly and other times not. It depends on the context. The more complex the context, the more work we have to do to eliminate the ‘distractions’ from clarity.

And distractions are typically what stop us from gaining clarity especially when our context is complex (or not). Sometimes we can make a simple context complex doing ourselves the greatest disservice in the process. Either way, it often leads to anxiety, productive procrastination, fear (of the imagined consequences) and more. Resulting in cognitive dissonance and status quo. And that’s how we hold ourselves back.

In both my conversations last week fear and anxiety were the results. Both my mentees had admirable goals. Goals that would propel them forward to where they want to be. But their distractions were holding them back. Their distractions were the stories they were telling themselves. Which led to their ‘self-induced’ anxiety and fear. Their stories were based on facts, but instead of deciphering the learnings from them, they were using them as shields from gaining clarity and getting to their goal. Worse still, these facts were moulding themselves into their identities. Not good.

The great thing about identity and the foundation of ‘future-proofing you’ is that you can choose who you want to be in the future. The past plays a role to help us learn and grow. Not to shield us from our future! But it takes courage and conviction to push through the distractions and re-write our stories. As my friend says, ‘your future is already here, live tomorrow today’ – which is congruent with future-proofing principles.

An important step for doing so is to focus on the things that are within our control. In both my conversations I got my mentees to identify things that were in their control and not in their control. Just this exercise alone gives us clarity. And it helps us focus our energy on the things that are within our control. Giving attention to things that are out of our control makes us spiral downwards. 

Our conversations ended with my mentees being inspired and motivated to act. This was because they gained the clarity they needed, energising them to action. Only time will tell if they follow through and stay the course. I am hopeful. They will be fine if they stay out of their own way.

Most of us fight ourselves and sometimes it is a good thing. It is the ignition we need to achieve what we want. But extended fighting especially with things that have happened in the past can become debilitating. It becomes an extra weight that we carry with us everywhere. This weight can lead to self-sabotage. It not only impacts us but those around us too.

It does not have to be this way. If you get deeper into your distractions, you will know what you need to do to eliminate them. But ultimately, you need to take action! Do something, no matter how small to practice being your future self! Action is key because sometimes clarity comes after action.

Where do you need clarity? Where are you potentially sabotaging yourself?

Be in clarity!

As always, you can reach me at yoga@yoganesadurai.com